On this cold, windy morning I find myself wishing I were on some warm, sunny beach. Laying there with my swimsuit on and tanning lotion ready to go. Beach chair dug into the sand right near the water... just enough so when I strecth my legs out the water laps against my calves. Sunning all day without a care. Gathering up my things as it begins to turn to dusk. Making my way back to the condo for a nice long and hot shower. Getting ready to go out and enjoy the night life the city has to offer. My favorite place so far would have to be Howl at the Moon in Okaloosa Island, Florida. A wonderful dueling pianos bar, with a stage band that knows how to get the crowd rowdied up. I miss that place, and can't wait to go back one day. Coming back to condo after a night of fun and escapades of mischief.
Yes, I wish I would have enjoyed Life more before being headstrong and marrying at 18 (only to have that marriage fail). I should have experienced Life more. Exploring everything, not letting myself hold back because I was/am scared. I have learned to take on the idea of "You only live once." So bring on the rollercoasters, the skydiving, the travel... if only God didn't have other plans.
For now, I will live my Life to raise my daughter and family. I wasn't planning on having children yet, but I think that God does plan things to happen in our life so that we learn a lesson from each event. There are still quite a lot of things that I don't see lessons in though. Suicide is the main one. But I suppose that is where free will comes in. Where the child leaves the Parent and begins to either stay on course or stray.
Anyhow, this post is becoming a ramble of deeper thoughts to which I do not have the extra time or energy for at the moment. Just know that I'd like to be on the beach, by myself or with a mate enjoying the beauty of the sea.
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